Send "La Vie Boheme" Ringtone to your Cell

ANGEL:
Who died?

BENNY:
Our akita

MARK, RODGER, ANGEL, COLLINS:
Evita

BENNY:
Mimi- I'm surprised
A bright and charming girl like you
Hangs out with these slackers
(Who don't adhere to deals)

They make fun -Yet I am the one
Attempting to do some good
Or do you really want a neighborhood
Where people piss on your stoop every night?

Bohemia, Bohemia
Is a fallacy in your head
This is Calcutta
Bohemia is dead

MARK:
Dearly beloved, we gather here to say
our goodbyes

COLLINS & ROGER:
Dies Irae - Dies Illa
Kyrie Eleison
Yitgadal V' Yitkadash (etc.)

MARK:
Here she lies
No one knew her worth
The late great daughter of Mother Earth
On these nights when we celebrate the birth
In that little town of Bethlehem
We raise our glass You bet your ass to…
La Vie Boheme

ALL:
La Vie Boheme
La Vie Boheme
La Vie Boheme
La Vie Boheme

MARK:
To days of inspiration,
Playing hooky, making something
Out of nothing, the need
To express
To communicate,
To going against the grain,
Going insane,
Going mad

To loving tension, no pension
To more than one dimension,
To starving for attention,
Hating convention, hating pretension,
Not to mention of course,
Hating dear old mom and dad

To riding your bike
Midday past the three piece suits-
To fruits To no absolutes
To Absolute To choice
To the Village Voice
To any passing fad

To being an us For once
Instead of a them

ALL:
La Vie Boheme
La Vie Boheme

MR. GREY:
AHHEMM

MAUREEN:
Hey Mister- She's my sister

MR. GREY:
So that's five miso soup,
Four seaweed salad
Three soy burger dinner,
Two tofu dog platter
And one pasta with meatless balls

ROGER:
Eww…

COLLINS:
It tastes the same

MIMI:
If you close your eyes

MR. GREY:
And thirteen orders of fries
Is that it here?

ALL:
Wine and beer!

MIMI & ANGEL:
To hand-crafted beers made in local breweries
To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese
To leather, to dildos, To curry Vindaloo
To Huevos Rancheros and Maya Angelou

MAUREEN & COLLINS:
Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion,
Creation, Vacation

MARK:
Mucho masturbation

MAUREEN & COLLINS:
Compassion, to fashion, to passion
When it's new

COLLINS:
To Sontag

ANGEL:
To Sondheim

FOUR PEOPLE:
To anything taboo

COLLINS & ROGER:
Ginsberg, Dylan, Cunningham and Cage

COLLINS:
Lenny Bruce

ROGER:
Langston Hughes

MAUREEN:
To the stage!

PERSON #1:
To Uta

PERSON #2:
To Buddha

PERSON #3:
Pablo Neruda, too

MARK & MIMI:
Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow
To blow off Auntie Em

ALL:
La Vie Boheme

MR. GREY:
Sisters?

MAUREEN:
We're close

ANGEL, COLLINS, MAUREEN, MARK & MR GREY:
Brothers!

MARK, ANGEL, MIMI:
Bisexuals, trisexuals, Homo Sapiens,
Carcinogens, hallucinogens, men,
Pee Wee Herman
German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein
Antonioni, Bertolucci, Kurosawa Carmina Burana

ALL:
To apathy, to entropy, to empathy, ecstasy
Vaclav Havel- The Sex Pistols, ABC
To no shame- Never playing the fame game

COLLINS;
To marijuana

ALL:
To sodomy
It's between God and me
To S & M

BENNY:
Waiter...Waiter...Waiter

ALL:
La Vie Boheme

COLLINS:
In honor of the death of Bohemia an impromptu salon will commence immediately following dinner. Maureen Johnson, just back from her
spectacular one-night engagement at the eleventh street lot, will perform Native American tribal chants backwards through her vocoder, while accompanying herself on the electric cello- which she aint never studied.

ROGER:
And Mark Cohen will preview his new documentary about his inability to hold an erection on high holy days.

MARK:
And Mimi Marquez, clad only in bubble wrap, will perform her famous lawn chair-handcuff dance to the sounds of iced tea being stirred...And Roger will attempt to write a bittersweet, evocative song

(Roger picks up a guitar and plays)

MARK:
That doesn't remind us of 'Musetta's Waltz'

COLLINS:
Angel Dumott Schunard will model the latest fall fashions from Paris while accompanying herself on the 10-gallon plastic pickle tub.

ANGEL:
And Collins will recount his exploits
as an Anarchist- Including the tale of
his successful reprogramming of the
MIT virtual reality equipment to self-destruct as it broadcasts the words:

ALL:
'Actual Reality - Act Up - Fight AIDS!'

MIMI:
Excuse me, did I do something wrong?
I get invited, then ignored all night long

ROGER:
I've been trying, I'm not lying
No one's perfect, I've got baggage

MIMI:
Life's too short babe, time is flying
I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine

ROGER:
I should tell you-

MIMI:
I've got baggage, too

ROGER:
I should tell you-

BOTH:
Baggage-

OTHERS:
Wine And Beer!

MIMI:
AZT break

ROGER:
You?

MIMI:
Me. You?

ROGER:
Mimi

(They leave and go sing “” then come back in)

MAUREEN:
Are we packed?

JOANNE:
Yes and by next week
I want you to be

MAUREEN:
Pookie?

JOANNE:
And You Should See
They've Padlocked Your Building
And They're Rioting On Avenue B
Benny Called The Cops

MAUREEN:
That Fuck

JOANNE:
They Don't Know What They're Doing
The Cops Are Sweeping The Lot
But No One's Leaving
They're Sitting There, Mooing!

ALL:
Yea!!!

(Mimi jumps up on bar to dance)

MIMI:
No Way to Make a Living, masochisms
Pain, Perfection,
Muscle Spasm, Chiropractors, Short
Careers, Eating Disorders

ALL:
Film!

MARK:
Adventure, Tedium, No Family, Boring Locations,
Dark Rooms, Perfect Faces, Egos, Money, Hollywood And Sleaze

ALL:
Music!

ANGEL:
Food Of Love, Emotion, Mathematics,
Isolation, Rhythm, power, feeling, harmony,
And Heavy Competition

ALL:
Anarchy!

COLLINS & MAUREEN:
Revolution, Justice, Screaming For Solutions,
Forcing Changes, Risk, And Danger
Making Noise And Making Pleas

ALL:
To Faggots, Lezzies, Dykes, Cross Dressers Too

MAUREEN:
To Me

MARK:
To Me

COLLINS & ANGEL:
To Me

ALL:
To You, And You And You, You And You
To People living With, Living With, Living With
Not Dying From Disease

Let He Among Us Without Sin
Be The First To Condemn

La Vie Boheme
La Vie Boheme
La Vie Boheme

MARK:
Anyone out of the Mainstream?
Is anyone in the Mainstream?
Anyone alive with a sex drive?
Tear down the wall
Aren't we all
The opposite of war
Isn't peace...
Its creation

ALL:
WOOHH!

Viva La Vie Boheme!

Send "La Vie Boheme" Ringtone to your Cell

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